3 Tips For Second Pregnancy (With a Toddler)
Congratulations! You must be expecting and I am so excited for you. Pregnancy and babies truly are the best. But, they are also so so scary! Pregnancy seems (slightly) less scary the second go ‘round, but the idea of a baby is almost worse! You have this fear that your first born is going to feel cast aside or loved less. You wonder, “How will I ever love the second like I love my first?” The feelings can be so overwhelming, especially when you have loads of extra hormones on board.
Well, you’ve come to the right place. I have a few tips below that might help you navigate this crazy journey you’re on. Below are the topics I will be covering:
Overcoming 1st Trimester Symptoms Like a Pro
Setting a Positive Mindset
Preparation
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Overcoming 1st Trimester Symptoms Like a Pro
Please note that I am not a medical doctor and before you use any of my tips and tricks, please refer to your Ob/Gyn for clearance. I am only suggesting things that I used to help me with my symptoms but cannot guarantee they are safe for every person.
Morning Sickness: Ugh. Why do they specify this as MORNING sickness? Mine certainly was not dedicated to just in the morning. To those of you who were lucky enough to not experience this awful feeling: I am so jealous! I was lucky enough to only actually throw up once between both of my pregnancies, but I was mostly nauseas for the majority of both first trimesters. All my friends swore by this certain medicine that their doctors were prescribing them, but my insurance wouldn’t cover it. It would have cost my almost $500 out of pocket and as bad as I felt, I just couldn’t justify that. So, I spoke with my doctor, who suggested Vitamin B12 supplements + Unisom, and almost immediately, I felt a difference. Before taking this medicine, I had this hungover feeling all day every day. After, I only had a few breakthrough spouts of nausea. If your doctor okays these two in combination you can get them here and here.
Fatigue: So, this one I cannot really tell you how to overcome. But, I can remind you that this time is fleeting. Do what you can and rest when you need to. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you have it available to you. We shouldn’t feel guilty for listening to our bodies. You are now a momma of two so although you want to go, go, go for your firstborn, you will only be hurting yourself if you don’t give in to this one.
Dry Skin: I had extremely dry skin when I was pregnant. I combatted this with Burt’s Bees Mama Belly Butter. I’ve linked it here for ease. This stuff is AMAZING. It isn’t greasy like some of the other belly butters. I couldn’t stand the feeling of some of the others. It is the best. I also have very minimal stretch marks, but I cannot say it is for sure from that as I know this is highly dependent on genetics. And in all honesty, those are just beauty marks that represent how amazing your body really is.
Setting a Positive Mindset
To me, this is a big one. I was very diligent about not blaming anything on the baby in my belly in front of my oldest. She would ask me to jump on the trampoline or climb in her playhouse. I would do what I could and spent so much time with her, but instead of saying, “I can’t because the baby,” I would express that Mommy was a little tired or I wanted to watch her or play from the ground, etc. Any excuse except, “Mommy has a baby in her belly so she can’t.” I didn’t want to start out the relationship between my oldest and the baby as one that kept me from my oldest, if that makes sense? I didn’t want her to associate the word no with the reasoning always being her little brother.
I feel that toddlers really read us and they remember things we don’t even realize they are paying attention to. We really should only discuss the positives about the baby, unless warning them about something significant (which is totally different). Obviously, this is intended for someone with a healthy pregnancy. I do realize there are situations such as bedrest that you may have to be upfront with your oldest about the baby needing Mommy to rest. I just didn’t have an experience like this so I won’t pretend like I know what will work in that situation.
I also highly suggest reading to your little ones. Books such as this one or this one are great options to express how exciting a new sibling can be, but also validate that it is okay to be nervous. Reading to your little one is also a wonderful way to get some one on one time in before the baby comes to help them feel even closer to you.
Preparation
I tend to work better under pressure and unfortunately, I am definitely a procrastinator. I wish I wasn’t, but it is what it is. However, I will tell you going from one kid to two can be pretty overwhelming and my absolute best advice to prepare is to get everything together and organized as early as possible. When you are 36 weeks pregnant, super heavy, tired, and are chasing around another little one, the last thing you are going to want to do is go shopping for baby essentials.
Even if you aren’t going to have a baby shower or don’t intend on sharing a list with anyone, create your own registry or list on Amazon or Target, just to have a check off list that makes it super simple to see all that you need in one place. That way you can buy directly from your list and mark it off as you go!
We tend to do things less quickly the second go around as (sorry baby #2), things just aren’t new. Also, we have so much less time that everything sneaks up on us so fast. My second pregnancy FLEW by! Go ahead and do things a little at a time so it doesn’t get overwhelming!
Going from one to two is hard. It is exhausting and it takes awhile to get used to it, BUT it is so worth it and so rewarding. Seeing your sweet babes together and knowing you provided that companionship is a feeling I cannot even explain.
You got this, Mama!